Thursday, May 22, 2014

My 40-Weeks Love Affair (1-1)

Trimester One - Part One - The Beginning

Like any ordinary married couple, after a couple of years leading the happy couple lifestyle, something seems empty heart, a longing for a lil one, a desire to start our own family.

They say getting married marks a small change in your lifestyle. Whereas getting a child marks a HUGE difference in your lifestyle.

Well, Alan and I were always yearning to find out how big of a difference can a lil one actually be. However after 4 years of yearning, it seems that that special moment never seemed to arrive.

I hoped and prayed and went to see the doctors. And every time they assured me that everything was fine and I need not worry, all there is is time and I should be patient. But as I near the 3 series, I begin to ponder....can I have a child before I hit the big 3-0?

After a long series of discussion, we finally decided to give a last try. I set up an appointment with a well known O&G specialist in KL. It was difficult to book a slot and trying to get Alan to be there as well is equally as difficult as he is always away for business trips.

The appointment date was set at 13 March 2014. I deliberately made a morning appointment so he could continue to go work after the appointment.
But as God would will it, Alan was away on business trip that day again!

Oh well, I might as well go on with it since the appointment was made. That day was also the day that my period was due. I do hope its a lil late so if the doctor needed to check anything, it wouldn't get in the way.

Just my luck that once I stepped into the hospital, it was dark....there was an electrical failure and the whole street was experiencing electrical failure. I take it this is sign from God? That I shouldn't be here and I should return home? I stayed on and waited for about an hour before the electricity came back on. Boy was it hot and stuffy!

She did the routine ultrasound scan and took some blood samples for screening. A funny episode took place during the ultrasound screening.

Dr.: I have some good news~~!!! (in a singing tone)
Me: (Oh my God, don't tell me that I hit the jackpot the first time? Wow that was.....and before I could finish my thoughts)
Dr.: You have a very good uterus....

Holy holy shit, doctor please do not scare me like that. I almost got a heart attack ok.

We went through my medical history and she was quite surprised or should I say shocked to find out what I went through medically. As she put it, its quite a harsh treatment to put you through radioactive iodine at such a young age. Yes, I do admit, but it doesn't seem like I had any choice. I was sent home and told to phone in next week to check on the blood results.

A week passed and I returned to hospital to collect the test results. To be honest I wasn't looking forward to it as she said my hormones were low and mind was already shut and already I am paving my path motherhood would be littered with obstacles...hormones low??? Great!

As I arrive at the clinic, the nurse passed my the results and instructed me to sit while waiting for the doctor to attend to me. I am not a doctor but I did work as an analyst for 2.5 years and looking at these data, I do admit that the hormones are in the low range but there is also a slight possibility that I could be heart starts racing. Could it be...??

Before I could think further, the doctor summoned me and started asking if I am having a stressful job. You do not have the slightest idea doctor. Ever since I graduated I changed jobs multiple times before I didn't want to live in such stressful environment but somehow one way or another I find myself sitting in the stress chair again and again.

Anyways she went through my report and suggested that I take some supplements etc. Great, more medication? Thanks, its all I need now. I am already so depressed....Can't you recommend something else like yoga...?

"When was your last period?" interrupts the doctor before I could think further.
"Hrmmm, sometime last month on 13th."
"Well it's sort of late huh...let's see, (and she starts counting) *gasp* it's already 6 days late!..." she starts winking at me.
Oh no no no, you don't start that game with me again. You almost gave me a heart attack when you said you had good news for me last week.

"Would you like me to do a pregnancy test for you?" she starts poking the question in my face before I had time to respond to her previous comment.
I start juggling the factors, since she charges a bomb for consultation its no wonder if she charges a bomb too for the stupid urine test.
"Ermmm, its fine. I think I can do that with the DIY test over the counters." I quickly packed my bags and leave and my thoughts travel back to the time when my period was 10 days late and I was elated. But I was disappointed when the test was negative and my period came a few days later. A similar incident happened again to me so I didn't bank too highly this time as well.

But somehow something is bugging me about the test result. Something is telling me to give it one last shot. OK fine. I get your message God. I am going to the local pharmacy.

I scanned the store for the cheapest pregnancy test kit because I don't want to spend so much. Previously I bought the most expensive kit because I sooo certain. Now I just keep everything low key - lest I get disappointed again.

OK got it, the cheapest test kit. RM14 for 2! Ha!! Now that is a bargain!

I went home and thought long before I put the kit to test. My heart starts pounding. My mind is blank. I couldn't think and my body is moving like a lab rat....OK, calm down, whatever happens happens. Breathe in, breathe out....I read the instructions from the label, wait 30 seconds to 1 minute for colour to appear. If 2 lines appear, then you are pregnant. If 1 line appear then you are not pregnant. Yeah I've seen the 1 line far too many times.

OK, wait 30 seconds. I am sure not to screw up the test kit. Somehow 30 seconds seem to pass like a breeze for almost immediately, 2 distinctive blue lines are staring back at me....

My first reaction was "uso!" (Japanese term for you're lying)

I turn to the packaging to view the sample photo and there it is, in the exact sample pattern, 2 blue lines - indicating that you are pregnant.

For a while I couldn't breath and I couldn't think. My heart skipped a beat even.

All I could do was call Alan and told him the wonderful news...for in 9 months time, we would be cradling our lil one.

Alan was received the news calmly and I could sense the hush hush in his happiness. He is of course in office still and I don't expect him to throw fists in the air or leap a feet high.

I placed the phone down and sat on my bed...slowly sinking into my knees and thoughts. Tears of joy slowly flowed down my cheeks...

When you wanted something so badly and you prayed to God with all your heart, but you never got what you wanted but still you prayed and waited patiently. After awhile you start to lose hope but you never never lose your faith. And when finally God answered your prayers, all you could do then is get down on your knees and cry...and that was precisely what I did that evening, that evening of 20 March 2014.


Saturday, August 28, 2010

Kaw Kaw - KAW!

Kaw in essence is a typical Malaysian coined term - "kaw" - is pronounced as "kaau" with more emphasis on the aaa part and low tune. Some say it is a chinese term - hokkien or hakka? I am not too sure about it...the origins of this terms is a mystery.

But go to any local old fashioned coffee shop and you can hear this terms every few minutes. Some patrons like it my dad, who graduated from kopi O to a kopi O "Kaw"...some of you who are not familiar with malaysia might ask - what is kaw?

Well, kaw in essence is more concentrated...lebih kaw.....the malays, chinese even indians used it...and I am not surprised that mat sallehs might use it as well, since now they are picking up our "lahs".....

Besides used to describe coffee and beverages, kaw is also used for anything which is deemed "hit him kaw kaw"...which means, give him a really good punch....somehow the kaw terms just stuck to our everyday vocab...

Another familiar term used is "O"...which is without milk....again, the origins of this terms is a mystery - and ONLY kopitiams understand it. U certainly can't walk into Starbucks and tell them "I want a frappucino kaw please"...... O.o'''???? Uh - huh, you will see the waiter with his expression like this....hahahahaha!!!! Try to use it in overseas - I love their expression! >.<

Yup - that is the beauty of Malaysia language, we like to mix malay, english, chinese and tamil into our everyday vocab - like rojak, like turns out just nice and kaw!

In appreciation of our Merdeka celebrations, lets make this year a kaw kaw one!!!
Selamat Hari Merdeka!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Home away from home...........

"Houston - we have a problem........"

This was the normal phrase uttered and heard from cartoons, from movies, especially from astronauts - I have no idea why...well for some reason, that line got stuck in my head and lo and behold, I know where Houston is from that phrase....but I never imagined myself coming to Houston for real......sounds exciting - yes I am excited....but wait, a quick check at the flight times.................29 hours!!!????!!!!


That is all I can say for 29 hours of flight time, you must be joking....but then Singapore airlines did an excellent job! Extremely good service from the ladies and men, d pilots were great at landing as well, I didn't feel any bumps at all....not bad for a Boeing 777! ^o^

After a grueling 29 hours, and 3 movies and I don't remember how many meals...I lost all track of time and day....I finally reached Houston......WOW!!! I never imagined Houston had so many green and trees! From the pictures, it looked like a huge city with tall buildings but here d tallest building is my hotel? Oh OK, I am at the north side so here is all d greenery......nice! =)

This is my fourth day here and still I dilligently wake up at the middle of night and stare into space - counting airplanes....jet lag - go away pls!!! O.o I don't wanna sleep in class again...this is not what I bargained 29 hours for....

Everything in Houston is BIG, the road is BIG, every building is so far from each other, d cars n trucks r big (think Optimus Prime), the bed is big, up to my waist! - have to climb the giant bed every night, the ppl r big (which makes me feel small).....the food portion especially is BIG BIG BIIIIIGGGGGGGG!!!!

Stay here any longer and I will grow horizontally very well O.o'''

Weather is hot but not as hot as I imagined it to be - according to locals, d peak has just passed - Thank God! But still its burning....and I have to dice with traffic every evening to grab my dinner....ah so this is the american street - but wait, 1,2,3 lanes??? 3 lanes??? on each side - which brings the total to 6 lanes! and the americans still call this a street - so i assume their highway is 10 lanes??? Holy $&*@~
Grab ur balls and run!!!!!

Houston will be my home away from home.......minus the jet lag pls....

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Funny Crowd

I really dread flying, somehow I just hate the smell of airplanes...they make me sick..nausea, paranoid... you get the picture. so when my boss ask me to go to Dubai for a 2 weeks training....well I am not entirely excited...because I am travelling alone to a country which i have entirely no idea of! my geography is lousy, thank you....I used to think Brisbane is in Europe - yeah , start laughing....

But I didn't have a choice so I had to go....on 3rd of April, (today), I woke up extra early coz my flight is an early one. My husband fetch me there....and we were 2 hours early...surely we have to fill our tummys up with McD before we set sail for a country which is ???? km from KL?

Damn, time sure pass fast at the airport...soon I have to I embark on my thousand step journey, I have to begin with a first step..which is to the escalator and BEYOND!!!! But of course sebelum itu, kena la bye 3,4 kali to my dearly beloved...even sampai the customs counter still nak strain out the neck to manage a few extra waves before I set off....

I was just here last month, (I was in Korea), so I somehow knew the airport pretty well now....The aerotrain fucked up and we got literally stranded there for about 10 minutes, and during that time the doors kept opening and closing....fuck, more ppl jammed in....and yeah my ass got squashed by another man's behind....hey please get your behind away from my ass. The more I avoid him the more he squashed over...idiots!!!! STOP MOVING AROUND!!!! its already so cramped!

I HATE PACKED TRANSPORTATION!!!!!!!!! Especially ppl who squeeze in, hello - if you know thr's no more space then why do you still wanna come in? morons!!!

I have about 20 minutes to dash over to gate C22 to board the plane...once thr I noticed such a colourful ensemble of crowd....i see black, i see red, i see white, i see yellow..and i think to myself...what a wonderful world!!!..hahahaha!!!!!


On board i was seriously bored out my i checked out their movies....hey they got AVATAR!!!!

since i missed it d last yr so i guess this is my chance to catch on what the hype is all about....d starting part is kinda dull, drab and boring...we're at the military base - sorry, no offense but i find no excitement in bloodlust meaningless killings to get dat metal which sells for 20 MM per kg...

Moving on towards the storyline, I am more attracted to the Na'vis...they are so colourful, so rich, so much more advanced than us!!! Imagine having to never, NEVER, NEVER EVER refuel your car (you got a horse), your plane ( you got d birds), and u get your wishes answered as well! (the spiritual tree)...AMAZING!!! they can download data using their hair cool - I WANT ONE!!!!

Pandora is so colourful and lively through the Na'vi's essence, there is not much of a storyline - if you ask me, it really reminds me of Pocahontas being given the James Cameron touch.. but the graphics of Pandora's forest really BLEW MY MIND AWAY....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ending is typical, the bad guys die...the good guys live - I like these type of typical endings....I am a typical audience =)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Square One

It's back to square one. And I thought that I would be moving on without drugs anymore...tiew 7! I still gotta resume to it...damn!

150-400 * 10^9/L seems so far away...sigh~

The last results were great...88 * 10^9/L. I know I will never hit the 150 mark. But as long as I am within the vicinity of 70-80, I am safe to move around. Shit, I should have watch out for the tell tale signs of minor bleeding...

Yesterday the result was 36~!!

If the number dips any lower, I am in deep shit! I may have to switch to another less stressful job. Or maybe just work from home.

36...I still have allowance of about 20? Last year when I admitted, I had 14 I suppose that is the danger zone...the next check up is 23 January 2010....a week after that I am getting married....if the doctor find the numbers as dangerous and confine me to my room... NO!!!!!

How am I suppose to sneak out from the room, grab a cab to get marry and sneak back to the hospital - unnoticed? T_T

Sigh, after a year I thought I can live a normal life, but it looks like the storm is yet to be over...

Let's wait and see the outcome of 23 Jan 2010...but no matter what, I will make it out by 29 Jan =)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Cameron's Celebration

I always walk away from work, school, well mainly stress on my birthday so this year makes no difference...I guess this habit sprang when I was still in school...

That's coz in school, its always holidays before my birthdays so I never did go to school on my birthday. At work, I take annual leave on that day =) Last year I was out and about, this year I am up at Cameron~~ with someone who is very dear to me =D

We got a room in Equatorial and settled for three days two nights...its was a very nice hotel and the food they served was top of this world---very fresh and delicious! The seafood was absolutely incredible! What I loved most was the fresh strawberry milkshake!! Mama MIA~!

After dinner we stumbled upon a pool table...table for two? Bring it on!! For RM 5 - you get to play a game of pool...but considering that we were never pool "kaki" we spent more than half an hour trying to get all the balls into the holes! By the last ball, we played cheat and just place the white ball wherever we like because the last ball just WON'T enter the hole! GOD DAMN IT!!!

But it was real fun to cheat! *even then we took quite a few times before it finally entered!*

After the beef steak and fish fillet have settled down, its time to cut the cake! =)

Two less lonely persons in the room celebrating a small, low key celebration.....with only one candle and one person singing - even the whole world could not match the voice of a million divas...That person is my best friend, my colleague, my husband-to-be =D

By tomorrow morning, we are going to be back at stress land - but for now, let's just enjoy the sweetness of strawberries + chocolate....mmmhhhh~~~!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Wave Run @ UPM

25 Oct 09 was the day for Wave Run at god - I never imagined myself running in a race other than forced by my school for jogathon way back when I was 16. I took almost 3 hours to complete a 5 km route!

The Wave Run was 11 km...when I registered, the lady told me it was 10 km...Imagine how I felt when I knew that I had to pump in an extra km! O.o'''

The race was off early so I had to wake up at 530am...we need to flag off at 730am - so better be punctual. Luckily it was at UPM, so I don't need to rush much...only 20 minutes from my house. My goodness, I thought that 6am was early, the place was already packed by then! We had to park by the road and walk to the stadium...I never knew there were soooooooo many health freaks in KL!

I was getting a bit fidgety by 7am coz there was just so many people and they all looked so "pro"...I don't even know if I can complete the race within the 1.5 hours which they stated as qualifying time...well, I did train for this in the past few months....but 11 km???

Anyway, by 730am the race was flagged was cool to see a sea of yellow troding the marked yellow ants slowing climbing up the hill...after proding about 3 km, imagine my horror when I saw an Ang moh lang jogging at the opposite lane....OMG!!! He has already finished!!! And he's heading back to the stadium! Its only been 30 minutes and he has completed the track! O.o'''


This CANNOT be true!!

Anyway, after jogging like lungs are like bursting and although I had my walkman on, I still feel like there's no mouth is dry and my body is overheating. I seriously need water....just when I feel like pulling out the white flag....Ah! The mark for 5 km....drinks station!

God bless water never tasted so sweet like this!

Another 6 km to go before I can celebrate....6? 6 KM????

My legs are already so damn sour and painful by then...but I cant stop because if I do, my head feels like bursting and my shoulders are overheating....all the blood is rushing to my I have to force myself to pump on....such irony, such dilemma....T_T

By the last 2 km, slight drizzle was falling....oh God, Where is the finishing line???

Another last hill to climb before we can reach the stadium again....but I had to walk as my tummy is having cramps....but when I crossed the gates, I had to jog to cross the line...I must finish in style!!!

"Combine all the remaining power within myself and JOG UR ASS OFF!!!!!"

......At long last, I finally felt how it feels to cross the finishing line - feels GOOD!!! With the cameras and people cheering you on...NICE! And I got myself a goodie bad and cert as well...

Well, 11 km is not that bad...You just need to concentrate and DO NOT STOP!
My time? 1 hour and 15 minutes - Pretty cool, huh?

Next year, we aim for the medal! =)