Thursday, May 22, 2014

My 40-Weeks Love Affair (1-1)

Trimester One - Part One - The Beginning


Like any ordinary married couple, after a couple of years leading the happy couple lifestyle, something seems missing....an empty heart, a longing for a lil one, a desire to start our own family.

They say getting married marks a small change in your lifestyle. Whereas getting a child marks a HUGE difference in your lifestyle.

Well, Alan and I were always yearning to find out how big of a difference can a lil one actually be. However after 4 years of yearning, it seems that that special moment never seemed to arrive.

I hoped and prayed and went to see the doctors. And every time they assured me that everything was fine and I need not worry, all there is is time and I should be patient. But as I near the 3 series, I begin to ponder....can I have a child before I hit the big 3-0?

After a long series of discussion, we finally decided to give a last try. I set up an appointment with a well known O&G specialist in KL. It was difficult to book a slot and trying to get Alan to be there as well is equally as difficult as he is always away for business trips.

The appointment date was set at 13 March 2014. I deliberately made a morning appointment so he could continue to go work after the appointment.
But as God would will it, Alan was away on business trip that day again!

Oh well, I might as well go on with it since the appointment was made. That day was also the day that my period was due. I do hope its a lil late so if the doctor needed to check anything, it wouldn't get in the way.

Just my luck that once I stepped into the hospital, it was dark....there was an electrical failure and the whole street was experiencing electrical failure. I take it this is sign from God? That I shouldn't be here and I should return home? I stayed on and waited for about an hour before the electricity came back on. Boy was it hot and stuffy!

She did the routine ultrasound scan and took some blood samples for screening. A funny episode took place during the ultrasound screening.

Dr.: I have some good news~~!!! (in a singing tone)
Me: (Oh my God, don't tell me that I hit the jackpot the first time? Wow that was.....and before I could finish my thoughts)
Dr.: You have a very good uterus....

Holy holy shit, doctor please do not scare me like that. I almost got a heart attack ok.

We went through my medical history and she was quite surprised or should I say shocked to find out what I went through medically. As she put it, its quite a harsh treatment to put you through radioactive iodine at such a young age. Yes, I do admit, but it doesn't seem like I had any choice. I was sent home and told to phone in next week to check on the blood results.

A week passed and I returned to hospital to collect the test results. To be honest I wasn't looking forward to it as she said my hormones were low and etc....my mind was already shut and already I am paving my path motherhood would be littered with obstacles...hormones low??? Great!

As I arrive at the clinic, the nurse passed my the results and instructed me to sit while waiting for the doctor to attend to me. I am not a doctor but I did work as an analyst for 2.5 years and looking at these data, I do admit that the hormones are in the low range but there is also a slight possibility that I could be pregnant....my heart starts racing. Could it be...??

Before I could think further, the doctor summoned me and started asking if I am having a stressful job. You do not have the slightest idea doctor. Ever since I graduated I changed jobs multiple times before I didn't want to live in such stressful environment but somehow one way or another I find myself sitting in the stress chair again and again.

Anyways she went through my report and suggested that I take some supplements etc. Great, more medication? Thanks, its all I need now. I am already so depressed....Can't you recommend something else like yoga...?

"When was your last period?" interrupts the doctor before I could think further.
"Hrmmm, sometime last month on 13th."
"Well it's sort of late huh...let's see, (and she starts counting) *gasp* it's already 6 days late!..." she starts winking at me.
Oh no no no, you don't start that game with me again. You almost gave me a heart attack when you said you had good news for me last week.

"Would you like me to do a pregnancy test for you?" she starts poking the question in my face before I had time to respond to her previous comment.
I start juggling the factors, since she charges a bomb for consultation its no wonder if she charges a bomb too for the stupid urine test.
"Ermmm, its fine. I think I can do that with the DIY test over the counters." I quickly packed my bags and leave and my thoughts travel back to the time when my period was 10 days late and I was elated. But I was disappointed when the test was negative and my period came a few days later. A similar incident happened again to me so I didn't bank too highly this time as well.

But somehow something is bugging me about the test result. Something is telling me to give it one last shot. OK fine. I get your message God. I am going to the local pharmacy.

I scanned the store for the cheapest pregnancy test kit because I don't want to spend so much. Previously I bought the most expensive kit because I sooo certain. Now I just keep everything low key - lest I get disappointed again.

OK got it, the cheapest test kit. RM14 for 2! Ha!! Now that is a bargain!

I went home and thought long before I put the kit to test. My heart starts pounding. My mind is blank. I couldn't think and my body is moving like a lab rat....OK, calm down, whatever happens happens. Breathe in, breathe out....I read the instructions from the label, wait 30 seconds to 1 minute for colour to appear. If 2 lines appear, then you are pregnant. If 1 line appear then you are not pregnant. Yeah I've seen the 1 line far too many times.

OK, wait 30 seconds. I am sure not to screw up the test kit. Somehow 30 seconds seem to pass like a breeze for almost immediately, 2 distinctive blue lines are staring back at me....

My first reaction was "uso!" (Japanese term for you're lying)

I turn to the packaging to view the sample photo and there it is, in the exact sample pattern, 2 blue lines - indicating that you are pregnant.

For a while I couldn't breath and I couldn't think. My heart skipped a beat even.

All I could do was call Alan and told him the wonderful news...for in 9 months time, we would be cradling our lil one.

Alan was received the news calmly and I could sense the hush hush in his happiness. He is of course in office still and I don't expect him to throw fists in the air or leap a feet high.

I placed the phone down and sat on my bed...slowly sinking into my knees and thoughts. Tears of joy slowly flowed down my cheeks...

When you wanted something so badly and you prayed to God with all your heart, but you never got what you wanted but still you prayed and waited patiently. After awhile you start to lose hope but you never never lose your faith. And when finally God answered your prayers, all you could do then is get down on your knees and cry...and that was precisely what I did that evening, that evening of 20 March 2014.

 

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